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Dark Shadows Is Better Off Dead (thepoliticker.observer)
_Dark Shadows_ is outdated, unwelcome and unbearable. Based on a cornball daytime soap opera from the 1960s about an 18th-century vampire living in a 20th-century town on the coast of Maine, it’s so silly that you’d have to be 10 years old to find the boo factor. Tim Burton, the director who never grew up, and his favorite star Johnny Depp, who is both fearless and overrated, follow the Gothic nightmare pranks of Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow and Sweeney Todd with more gross and dross in this cinematic aberration that gives things from the grave a dullness they don’t deserve. Good actors do find themselves drawn to this kind of fiddle-faddle. And why not? It must be fun to bare fangs dripping with boysenberry pancake syrup and fly into crystal chandeliers that wreak havoc on haunted house sets that look like Hollywood even though they’re shot in London. The plot scarcely survives another rehash, but there might be somebody who had too much taste in the 1960s to watch Jonathan Frid creep his way through the spiderwebs of Collinwood Manor in makeup of Chinese rice powder. (As a Tim Burton in-joke, he makes ...
Disney’s Haunted Halloween